Why Do You Wear Tights?

OK, I wasn't wearing tights- just regular bibs with a regular jersey- out and about on an after work ride last week. I was heading home and wanted to avoid Lake Calhoun, so I was riding east on the Greenway toward Bryant when a kid of indeterminate gender blurted out those words as I rode by: "Why do you wear tights?"

It made me pause. Was this some smart-ass remark or a sincere inquiry? This isn't part of the usual menu of harrassment endured while biking. I don't really have a canned response for this sort of thing. I was out of my depth.

I turned around and asked the kid, who I then also noticed was of indeterminate age, if he/she was talking to me. I should maybe mention that this person had rather wild dreadlocks, was blonde, and was with two other "kids" who appeared to be more male. My initial inclination was to ask why he (I was settling on male as the gender at that point) had his hair like that. It truly was a serious problem, if you ask me. But I took the higher road and asked if he was asking a serious question, to which he replied yes.

I offered a very brief explanation of the practical reasons for wearing bike shorts, and I soon watched his attention-deficit ridden eyes start to flutter. I'm sure he regarded me as a freak, as I know I regarded him as a freak elite in the making. At least this tatterdemallion wasn't throwing rocks at bikers or smashing bottles on the pavement. Then again, I usually need to ride further east to experience those pleasantries.