Baby Passport

Crudely redacted, as this is the internet. There is probably an east European crime cartel that employs a sweatshop full of people searching for this sort of thing. I find his height amusing, since he really doesn't stand-- and he is probably already a few cm taller. The washed-out antiquish quality to the photo makes it look a hundred years old.

For you Americans, Noreg is the nynorsk word for Norway. Nynorsk is a concept designed to confuse immigrants or others interested in learning the language. It is like an alternate reality. Actually, it is more like Esperanto-- a contrived, written version of Norwegian designed to reflect spoken dialects. It never really existed as a written form until the government mandated its use. It seems to receive about 10% use in media. I am no expert, and I am quite sure I have butchered the true meaning of nynorsk, so perhaps I should qualify this as "what nynorsk means to me." Apparently someone in the 1800s felt that written Norwegian too closely reflected Danish, so he "invented" it. From what I have seen, written Norwegian and Danish are very similar, which is quite odd, since Danish people seem to speak something that has no resemblance to Norwegian. It is like they speak Norwegian with rocks in their mouth. Everything sounds like it is spoken from the back of the throat, or that the words are being gargled. I am exposed to Danish in product packaging, since it often is written in Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, and maybe Finish. Finish has no relationship to Swedish or Danish, and is only included due to its geographic proximity. However, the Danish and Norwegian words are often nearly identical, which makes me wonder why they even go through the effort to separate them. We also receive Swedish TV here, and while the written language has less in common, I can decipher at least some of it when spoken. Anyway, as far as I am concerned bokmål is real Norwegian, and nynorsk is Norwegian with speed bumps-- I have to sound out half the words in my head to figure out what they mean. The good old wikipedia has more than you would ever want to know about this-- including the real reasons behind its use.

Norway's Stupidest Criminals

I know "stupidest" isn't a word, but it should be. The car thieves who drove off in the neighbor's car were picked up in Egersund the other day. Apparently they made it that far before the needed gas. As if it wasn't dumb enough to take the car, it was even dumber to fill the tank with gasoline-- considering it was a diesel. Of course the story doesn't end there-- even "stupider" is that they took it in to the shop to be repaired! The shop guy apparently contacted the police, and the car was recovered. This really leads me to wonder how stupid these people were to attract the attention of the mechanics. But I reserved stupidest of all to the politi here in Norway for letting these people go. Apparently none of the other property was recovered, and it doesn't appear there is any effort. At least the car is on its way back. Then again, I don't know all the details of Norwegian law, but these people will probably end up getting a tax break or a subsidy for their crime.

Speaking of which, there is some arcane law that says I am entitled to a substantial tax break for last year's taxes and next year. Apparently they want to give "immigrants" a good start on life here in expensive Norway. I don't really need it, but I won't complain. I am sure Julian will spend the money.

Finally, speaking of the little guy, his passport arrived today. It is almost as cute as he is. It is truly crazy cute--- with his little photo taken when he was two months old. If only renewing my US passport was so easy!

Everybody Does It

Picture 044, originally uploaded by filtersweep.

The woods were crawling with families with kids. I never saw this sort of thing living in the US.

There was still a layer of ice on the lake

Picture 048, originally uploaded by filtersweep.

Sunday Walk

Picture 042, originally uploaded by filtersweep.

Or maybe it was more of a hike pushing the baby wagon.

Baby Passport

Julian and I had a great time last night. There actually was a terrible guy movie on-- Metro with Eddie Murphy. It received an awesome 5.2 stars out of 10 at IMDB. I don't recall machine guns or helicopters, but it does have Michael Wincott, if that counts for anything. I was amazed how quickly the night flew by-- especially considering I had an early start. Who knew that a 2 month old could keep me so entertained? I was seriously looking forward to hanging out with Julian alone, and he did not disappoint. I think it was nice for Lise to feel a little freedom to be able to get away for more than a few minutes.

Today, Julian had his passport photo taken. He looks so little and so serious in the photo. He is required to have his mouth closed, and it really changes his appearance. It looks like a little baby mugshot.

Speaking of photos, we had about 209 digital photos printed out for only 1 nok each. I couldn't even buy paper and ink for that price. They turned out wonderfully, but the accurate aspect ratio of digital camera looks a little odd. I like the 35mm film ratio better-- they are more rectangular than the squarish prints of digital. Maybe I am just old fashioned. Then again, I grew up during the instamatic era, when prints were even more squarish. It was strange going through the photos, that turned out very well, by the way. Julian was so tiny when he was born. It is amazing how quickly he is growing.

It is below freezing and snowing now. I must remember to swap out the tires in the morning. I had the brilliant idea that I will put slicks on the winter wheels for city riding during the non-winter months. Tonight summer seems impossibly far away.

Urban Decay Forums

I stumbled across this urban decay forum out of the UK. Freaky stuff.

Transportation

This morning was very foggy. I didn't give it much thought as I prepared to leave, but I could hardly see the edge of our terrace in the back yard. Each day grows 5 minutes longer, meaning in less than two week we have more than an hour more sunlight. I took my time getting ready so I wouldn't bike in darkness and extreme fog.

As I set off, I wondered if school was out today. I believe it is winter vacation here, where everyone is supposed to go to the mountains to ski. There were none of the usual kids running all over the place walking to school. Despite my recent posts regarding our neighborhood crime wave, this country is a ridiculously safe place to live. I see kids of all ages walking to school, which seems even more dramatic in the pre-dawn darkness of winter. Most kids wear reflective vests, and some even carry flashlights or have ski headlamps as they walk through the woods to school. I swear some of these kids look so tiny that I fear they are walking to day care!

As I went down the big hill to take the back road to work, I realized how cold the fog was. While the temperature was just above freezing, and there was no wind, this was one of the coldest commutes I can recall. It was a strange fog-- very thick, but it didn't cover me in mist as fogs often do. As I rode to work I lamented the fact that I haven't been riding for fun at all lately. I cannot remember the last time I rode anywhere when it wasn't transportation. Of course, having a cute two month old at home is better than doing anything at this point in time. Tonight I have him all to myself as Lise is heading out to see a play. She is having a girl's night out. I told her Julian and I will have a guy's night in- beer, cigars, and watching movies with machine guns, helicopters, and explosions. We will probably skip the cigars. And the beer. And the bad movies.

Its Getting Personal

Our neighbor's newish Audi was stolen Thursday. These are the neighbors whose house was broken into a few weeks ago. Apparently the thief found a spare key and came back for the car- that had been kept in the garage most of the time. It was parked on the street the night it was stolen. It is very creepy that this person returned. Apparently there was a driver's license left in the car that was used to open a new cell phone account. I hope the police can somehow track these this person down. You would think with the GPS in phones, the Autopass for the tollways, and all the video cameras everywhere that something could be done. Then again, it is mostly a nuisance burglar-turned car thief. It is really sad.

Do You Speak English?

It was a very busy week. But now that I think about it, most weeks are busy. Friday I needed to drop off some print jobs downtown. It was on one of the few streets that I was familiar with- Kvitsøygata- and only because my wife is from Kvitsøy and the street name stuck in my head. I was very impressed with the shop and the design work they perform. We need new roll-ups for our U.K. trip. Thankfully we are using the lightweight aluminium stands, since we will need to drag those through London, then to Manchester, and back again. Anyway, I drove to work. It was just as well that I had the car. It was insanely windy. Thursday night seems to be the normal wind night around here. It is notable in that we have garbage pickup Friday mornings, and our containers end up blown all over the neighborhood. They are identical to the types of containers we had in Minneapolis, by the way.

Today I went grocery shopping while Lise stayed home. I went to Ultra, since they have coffee beans that I can grind for the espresso maker. I would just as well go to Mega, but it was raining, and I preferred the underground parking. Ultra is as close to a Lunds or Byerlys that you will find here. In some respects, it is nicer. Like Byerlys, it is expensive. In the dairy aisle some woman from the UK asked me if I spoke English. She then had all sorts of questions what distinguished one butter from the other. Some had no salt, some half salt, some had yogurt, some were blended with margarine. She asked the right person. The store today was seemingly filled with people from the UK-- I heard English English spoken everywhere. I wondered if they understood any Norwegian. I am always curious how other foreigners experience life here. My life here would be very different if Lise were not Norwegian. I also was left with the thoughts that maybe I should make friends with more native speakers of English. It isn't that I have trouble communicating, but sometimes it is nice to speak English with people when it doesn't feel like they are doing me a favor.

Innebandy (Not Hit by a Bus)

Yesterday we had our innebandy tournament at the sports hall down the street. I was "volunteered" for this post-work activity-- having never played it before. It didn't seem too complicated-- basically three-on-three floor hockey. I played mostly defense-- but with only three people, we were all over the place. Our first game we tied. The second was brutal-- there was a rather psychotic player from the opposing team who was into full contact. During the game he ended up flipping out, screaming, throwing his stick against the wall. I am not one to be incited to the point of violence, but he was so abusive on the court that I am quite certain a fight would have erupted had he not been ejected from the game. This also ended in a tie-- and afterward, I thought the hot head might be coming over to apologize, but no. He was emphatically trying to offer excuses for his behavior. Game three we ended up losing. We were all exhausted. We didn't make the playoffs, which was fine-- as Lise and I had dinner plans at the neighbors.

Today I could barely move. My shoulder are bruised up from the contact, my legs sore from all the running around, and my back in worse pain that it was before. It hadn't been doing too well from biking-- I can't ever really stand when I ride on ice. I stopped by the hardware store to pick up some tubing so I could bleed the brakes. I finally finished popping the new pads in, and I should be ready to ride to work Monday. Tomorrow we head to Kvitsøy for Mother's Day-- but I am most excited for Lise and her first Mother's Day.

Smiles

I don't think anything makes me smile like seeing Julian smile. At almost eight weeks, I think it is something a little more than a reflex.

Blåmuggost

I was looking at the package of "blue mold cheese" literally translated, and once again, I was reminded how direct (and efficient) the Norwegian language is. Nobody in the US could conceive of marketing a blue mold cheese product. Rather, we prefer all sorts of sensitive euphemisms. This mentality permeates much of the rest of the culture as well. People tend not to be so superficially nice as in the US. That works for me, as I tend not to respond well to empty praise. Hey, it tastes the same no matter what you call it.

I tore apart my rear disc brake after stopping by the bike shop to pick up a new set of pads. I was shocked to find that the old pads were nonexistent. Unfortunately, they are the wrong type. I also lost a bit of brake fluid in the process--- hey, I'm new to this disc brakes on bikes thing. I guess I will need to drive to work tomorrow. I had earlier packed up the winter tires in the back-- and I mean back. Lise was going to take the car in, and we were worried about the child seat in the back. I was able to load all four tires behind the back seat of the station wagon in this cavernous car. There are no seats to fold down. I guess I will leave work a little early to have the tires swapped. I will be spending the afternoon playing innebandy- which is some sort of floor hockey. I am sure that I will feel every year of my age by the time I am finished. This is work related-- some sort of tournament for our office park. It is being played in a sports hall next door to home-- so I have no excuse. I was literally drafted for this duty. I guess I can take one for the team.

Stavanger Photos

There was a request in a recent comment that I post more photos from the "village" where I live. There are a boat load of them at flickr that have been taken by others. I live on a peninsula near beaches, mountains, flat farm land, and of course the ocean. This is probably not the part of Norway people think about when they see postcards, although pulpit rock is near here-- one of the largest tourist attractions in the country. The fact is, Norway is more modern than the US in many respects. Almost all of Stavanger is cabled for fiber optic internet, for example. Cell phone reception is amazing-- even in tunnels. Rather than a fishing village, think off-shore oil capital.

Seriously Ill-Prepared

This morning the temperature was hovering just above freezing. There was slushy snow outside, but nothing major. I opted to use the regular wheel set for my ride in. It was not big deal.

While at work, it started snowing, the temperature dropped, and the snow accumulated. It was going to be an interesting ride home without studded tires. I somehow managed, but there were some very slippery spots. I was amazed how well regular 2.1" mtn bike tires get by on regular snow, but I was slipping and sliding on icy pavement. I avoided as much pavement as possible, and made it home in one piece.

When I arrived home, Lise's mother and great-aunt were visiting. Lise's mother had asked me to fix her bike, which wouldn't stay in gear. I had asked if the gears were on the inside or outside, and was told "outside." I said I could fix it. Of course the bike ended up having an internal Nexus 3-speed hub. I was out of my league, but did my best-- and there was no way to test ride it. It seemed to not be skipping. Who knows. Those are such bulletproof hubs that it is quite possible that it is back in good form. I also tossed on the studded tires. No worries tomorrow morning.

There Goes the Neighborhood Revisited

Our neighbor's house was burglarized this afternoon- in the middle of the afternoon. It is disturbing on a number of fronts. We know the couple that lives there-- actually met them before they moved in and it was something of a coincidence that we became neighbors. It is a long story that sounds more complicated than it really is, but he is the brother of one of her friends who was a Norwegian living in the US. He works off-shore, so he is away for a few weeks at a time. They have a three month old girl.

Lise left the house with another neighbor across the street to walk down to Kvadrat (a mall having the dubious distinction of being Norway's largest). About the same time, our other neighbor left for a few hours. When she returned, her door was locked from the inside, which was odd. She then noticed silverware boxes open on the floor. She came over to our house at that point and called the police. When I came home, Lise had her hands full watching the two babies, and our neighbor was home with the police.

We later found out that the neighbor next door saw the burglar. She was a mid-20s female who was on foot and carrying a bag. She waited a long time at the front door, then went around to the side of the house. The witness didn't do anything, thinking she was a friend. She felt horrible when she found out what happened. Apparently she entered through a partially opened window in the back.

While the woman was on foot, and unable to take much, what she took completely mean-spirited. Their daughter was recently baptized, and several engraved silver gifts were taken-- as was the video recorder containing the tape of the first few months of their daughter's life. A laptop and other items were stolen. It has given me a new perspective on how our digital videos and photos are stored.

We live in a nice neighborhood on a dead-end street where cars are not even allowed to drive. Everyone here knows each other. It was just bad luck-- random, that she was burgled. (Sorry to be such a stickler here, but a detective friend pointed out that to be robbed would mean that the owner was home. )

On one hand, I appreciate that this wasn't some creepy guy who poses a threat to the physical safety of the people living around here. The police seem to think it is some drug addict. It takes a desperate person to do this in the middle of the day. All the belongings were easy to carry. She was on foot. But it truly stinks that the items she took hold so much more than their mere monetary value.

The other issue that makes this particularly disgusting is how unnecessary it is. Addicts are practically coddled in Norway. The corrections system is so liberal here that she could probably end up on some payroll to NOT commit any crimes-- and belong to a union-- and receive a lifetime supply of free drugs.

The Best Part of Waking Up

It is so difficult leaving a warm bed in the morning. This is compounded by Julian sleeping in our room. Every morning starts with two cups of espresso. It has become my new addiction. At least the days are growing noticeably longer-- I can feel it each day. Biking to work in the morning poses a few psychological barriers. It isn't much of a physical feat. This morning I woke up to a dusting of snow. I spend an hour working on my brakes last night before I realized that the rotors I had recently purchased were different than the stock brakes. I purchased narrower rotors- with the same outer diameter. These should work, but the fins were catching on the pads, making a noise that I originally thought was from a warped rotor in the rear. After microadjusting, they were finally in alignment. I was not about to switch wheels at this point, and the snow looked too light for studded tires. At least it was dry.

As I was leaving, I noticed it was raining. On a positive note, the rain had melted all the snow. Keep in mind, there was snow everywhere just a half hour earlier. I quickly changed into my rain gear. This proved to be a wise move, as the wind was very cold, and my ride was through sleet, snow, and rain. I felt like my nose was being sandblasted off my face when I hit the wind. It was probably the least pleasant commute to date- perhaps only rivaled by a commute where I broke a tire bead, or the time I broke the seat post.

As I approached the locker room area, I could tell that "Stinky Guy" had ridden to work. When I opened the door, the stench was overpowering, and the man himself was standing there. He must be lacking an olfactory system-- his rancid sour-smelling clothing almost make me nauseous. I don't even like the idea that my towel hangs anywhere in the vicinity of his clothing. I have contemplated bringing air fresheners, etc. but he doesn't commute often enough for me to remember.

As I shaved without a mirror in the shower, I encountered the worst feeling short of a medical procedure- catching my fingernail with the razor. I don't know what it is about this that makes it feel so uncomfortable, but I hate it. It only seems to occur when I don't have a mirror. Shaving "blind" is difficult enough as it is. I always miss spots and cut myself. You would think that after decades of shaving, I could "do it with my eyes closed," but somehow it isn't that easy. At least I had hot water today.

All Bundled Up

We take Julian for a walk daily-- well almost daily. Photos of our neighborhood here.

Food Processors

We have some fancy KichenAid food processor that was a wedding gift from the US. Of course we need to drag out a 60lb voltage converter to use it here. Lise typically uses it when she makes pizza (the best homemade pizza ever--- rivals most restaurant offerings). Anyway, I swear it takes more work to clean a food processor than the work it actually saves-- especially when used for dough. There are an infinite number of nooks and crannies where "processed food" can hide. It is like biodiesel-- a net loss in energy.

End of Week Recap

I biked every day, except Wednesday. It rained every day as well. Oddly, even if it is not raining at home in the morning, I have discovered that it will rain at some point during the commute. Tuesday I had the misfortune to see what appeared to be an accident in our neighborhood. I missed the actual incident, but it looked like a pedestrian had been hit and was still lying in the crosswalk. It took forever before I heard sirens. I hate seeing that sort of thing, no matter what the circumstances.

My boss is at our office in India. I am sitting this trip out. Usually his absence means that my "to do" list shrinks. This is not the case. In addition I need to prepare for our US trip in March. We will soon be hiring a VP of Sales in the US, which means I need a lift in job titles. Titles do not mean much to me-- but it looks like I will end up with something with the word "president" in it myself. It seems a little pretentious.

Julian had a good week-- until last night when it seemed he did not sleep at all. I still cannot believe how wonderful he is. He is noticeably heavier, has outgrown most of his newborn clothing, and is starting to smile. Some people suggest this is merely a reflex. I am convinced there is an advanced cognitive process that takes place- that he observes all the work everyone around him is doing- particularly his mother! He thinks to himself that all he has to do is scream, and someone feeds him. He can sleep all day, is waited on hand and foot (literally). He knows he does not even have to get up to go to the bathroom- he can pee and poop wherever he is. He knows what a cushy life he has-- and smiles, laughing inside at all of the rest of us. That is my theory, at least.

Today Lise had a doctor appointment, so she picked my up at work to watch Julian. The weather was beyond miserable, so I headed to a bakery downtown, near her doctor office. Before I could even take a bite of food, she phoned to say her appointment was done. It took all of four minutes-- in and out! In the US it could have taken an hour- although, to be fair, much of that hour consists of waiting. Waiting to sign in. Waiting to be seen. Waiting in your underwear in the exam room. Waiting for the doctor after the nurse takes your blood pressure. Waiting for the doctor to come back. Waiting for a lab. Maybe socialized medicine is not all that bad.

After the appointment, we headed to the immigration office to fix the typo on my residency visa. I found out that it expires early because my passport expires in May. At least I have an extra month. I also found out about the language requirement for permanent residency, and why I was confused. The law states that anyone who enters the country after Sept. 1, 2005 is required to take the classes. I entered on Novemeber 1 of that year-- after the date, which led me to believe I had to take the classes. But- my visa was issued in May of that year- before the date- and they go by the visa date, not the date that we actually moved here. At any rate, I am not complaining. She was the coolest immigration worker I have encountered in Norway.

There Goes the Neighborhood

We live on a street that has maybe eight houses. Each houses is a side-by-side. Houses have one of two floor plans, depending on what side of the street they are on. The typography is the determining factor here. Our neighbor's house is for sale, two houses down- the same layout as ours with a few updates. It is selling for 1.2 million nok more than we paid for ours. OK, to be fair, they knocked out a few walls to open up the entire main floor. They extended the main bathroom into the laundry room. They added a few skylights in the loft. They have redone their floors. But it is the same house in the same neighborhood, with a lesser view.

I read in the paper yesterday that properties have been selling for a million nok more than the asking price. The neighbor's house was only 700k more than asking price. I am beginning to wonder how we were ever able to find our house. The real estate market around here is completely out of control. New development is so severely restricted and there are so few "affordable" houses on the market that buyers end up going nuts bidding on homes. It is probably a little slower when you get into houses costing a million US dollars and on up- but for your average family home, a one hour open house is all it takes. I wonder if the previous owners of our house feel like they gave it away.

Green Again

Friday I was stuck at work late, watching brief blizzard conditions. When i finally left, I ended up sliding down the hill, feeling the anti-lock feedback of the brake pedal, hoping silently that I would stop before I reached the intersection. The roads were very icy. As I headed up our hill, there were cars stuck, and cars behind them backing down in reverse. I was able to slip by and maintain my momentum to make it to our street. After some effort, I was able to clear the final hill and final corner to reach our garage. I must get the snow tires on soon!

Last night we took Julian in the carriage and went out to eat at Dolly Dimples, the only restaurant in walking distance. Their Italian pizza was quite good. It continued to snow as we walked home. The snow eventually turned to rain. By morning the temperature was maybe 8 or 9C, and there was no evidence of snow remaining. Everything is green again. We took Julian for a walk today, and contemplated which day cares to include in our application. We need to choose four. While it is almost a year away, the enrollment period closes in a few days. Of course, we cannot imagine leaving him anywhere, but we have months to sort this all out anyway. It is nice to make it home by 4pm and still see daylight. It almost smells like spring today. Lise thinks winter is over- after almost a week. Of course now it is raining again-- which is even worse. At least the weather here always gives me something to complain about.

Disappearing Snow

Yesterday afternoon the temperature poked above freezing, and I rode home through a slushy mess. I was stuck at work late as we met with one of the consultants we had worked with in the US. At least work was finished for me around 5pm. I had the option of attending an event that tried to match local venture capitalists with technologies in need of investors. I have been working that angle from the US, and decided that I would rather be home.

I decided that riding in slush is worse than riding on ice or snow. The traction isn't as good. Also, my back has been sore lately, likely from paying extra attention to weight distribution as I ride up and down hills. It generally doesn't make much sense to stand while riding, since it tends to unload the rear wheel. I have also been fighting off a cold. These factors all collided to point to one conclusion: I would drive to work today. My guilt quickly melted as it started to rain. Rain at 3C is no time to be riding if it can be avoided. Besides, I have ridden enough for one week.

Today I must finalize travel plans to Manchester, Stockholm, Prague, and San Francisco for a series of events we will be sponsoring. This has thrown my passport renewal into limbo, since Manchester is in four weeks. My plan B is to re-apply when my parents arrive in May-- that will knock one month off from any foreign travel. I am not looking forward to being away from Julian. I guess that is a good sign. I even feel like I need to rid myself away to leave for work in the morning. He looks too ridiculously cute for words when he is sleeping in the morning. Each day there is something subtle and new about him. Now he is beginning to smile, and his eyelashes are gradually growing in. I would hate to miss something while I was away.

Winter Commute

This morning I had a mild interruption to my routine that interfered with my checking behaviors. I was so bundled up that I was five minutes from home before I realized I had forgotten a minor detail--- my helmet. On any other day, I might have considered skipping it, but there was even more snow and ice than the previous day. I conjured up memories of previous crashes, and returned home to pick it up. It was not worth saving ten minutes. Of course I made it round trip without a mishap, but you never know.

This evening I left my laptop at work so I could put the tires through their paces without worrying about crashing-- or at least not destroying the laptop.
This is the lovely changing facility that I use. There is a coed locker room near the workout room, but it is completely occupied. I actually prefer this dungeon environment, as it allows me to hang my clothes up to dry wherever I feel like. Nobody uses it-- at least not often. Sometimes a stinky guy hangs his clothes there-- clothes that smell, not him. It is nauseating to smell whatever it is, but I digress. These snowy days leave me with free reign of the place. We have showers, by the way, in the fallout shelter. No, seriously. They are decent, although the place still smells funny from a fire that started in the sauna.
The view from the bike parking lot. They went a little nuts with the sand last night.
Through the forest. I can make it home without touching more than a few meters of pavement if I choose.
It stayed cold all day, and the snow stuck to the trees.
OK, there is a little more pavement under the icy tire tracks. It leads to a pasture bike route.


It is getting darker. Some days I take this back road home. Today I headed up the hill off road.
It still grows dark quite early. There is a gravel path beneath the snow. There were kids sledding everywhere in the darkness ahead.

I have decided that I like snow biking better than rain biking. I stay dry. I tried skidding a few times, but the studs really dig in, and I probably have better stopping than in normal conditions. After all, loose gravel, slippery rocks and roots, and dirt do not offer the best traction to begin with. It really is not very cold out either. And best of all, it is a better workout. Living in Minnesota has proven to be a huge missed opportunity for snow biking. I guess we can always move up north to Finmark.

Studded Tires

My boss suggested throughout the day that he drive me home after work. I suggested that I biked by choice. Some people just don't get it. I have other options. I could even attempt to drive in this mess. Actually, it is very generous that people offer to go so far out their way to help. He has even offered to loan me an extra car that he doesn't use in the past. Granted, the road conditions were a little extreme. I guess it is the thought that counts, and maybe I am a little crazy.

After work I was struggling with my Kryptonite U-lock. I leave my regular lock at work, around a beam. Today it was completely frozen stuck. I had to use the back-up Kryptonite that was also stuck. Somehow I managed to open it in the morning, and it was something of a struggle to liberate my bike in the evening. While I was fussing with it, another intrepid cyclist prepared to leave. He didn't even lock his bike-- out of the few bikes that made it in today, I was the only one who locked up. I eyed his studded tires-- some basic commuter tires with a few studs. He was staring at my Extremes. I couldn't tell if he was curious, envious, or thought I was a nutjob for requiring so many studs. Then again, they are called Extreme for a reason.

I took off across the glare ice parking lot. It defies logic that I can bike across something that I could not even walk on without falling down. It still stresses me out and freaks me out that the physics of this even work. Ice is to be avoided at all costs. These things thrive on ice. I left the lot and headed through the woods. I discovered a new way home across a pasture, since I could follow other bicycle tracks. I made it all the way home without stopping, including the hill behind our house that should be called "the slide." My neighbor was playing with her son in the street. She commented how dangerous it was to bike on this ice. I still can't believe it is possible to bike on this. Tonight it is still snowing. It should be another interesting morning.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith- Mini Review

As Lise was heading out to run some errands this weekend, I impulsively suggested that she pick up a movie rental at Statoil down the street. As you may imagine, a gas station with a socialist-inspired name might not exactly have the greatest selection- which it doesn't. When she returned, I asked her what she picked up. She said "I don't think you will like it" as she tossed my the DVD case. Upon seeing her selection, I suggested that she made a great choice.

There are three essential ingredients to a good movie, as I have noted elsewhere. They are, in no particular order, machine guns, helicopters and explosions. Machine guns appear throughout Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I recall at least two good explosions. I was a little unsure if this was going to be a great movie, since it took well over an hour before the helicopter appeared, but it was definitely there. This film delivers on all three counts. Three thumbs up.

Not Lost in Translation

Just when I think my ears are deceiving me, or that I am missing some key word in deciphering Norwegian, I realize that news bit really was about dogs with allergies-- particularly cat allergies. I wonder if they can be allergic to people.

Ice Bike

I made it to work today with no broken bones. This was the first ride on studded tires. I was actually more worried about wrecking my laptop in a crash than anything else. Bones heal, after all. It is completely counterintuitive to ride across glare ice on a bike-- at least coming from the road bike world.

The temperature was in the 20s-- the coldest we have seen this winter. I worn snowboarding gloves, which were probably a little much. I was on the edge of overheating wearing a base layer, long sleeve jersey, and a light winter jacket. I think the psychology of Celsius indicating anything below freezing as being less than zero messes with my head. The ambient light reflecting off the snow helped illuminate the usually dark woods. My only concern was staying on the trail, but no matter where I went, someone already had biked there, so it was just a matter of following the existing tracks.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I walked up the hill in our backyard. It is so steep and icy that the school children could barely make it in their boots. Other than that, my only other concerns were staying out of ice ruts. When I made it to work, I hadn't set any speed records, but I made it in one piece. The parking lot was a skating rink. I was mildly embarrassed to see (only) three other bikes already parked-- none of which had studded tires. Those people are nuts.

Snow

We spent the day with Julian's grandparents on Kvitsøy. The day started out with wonderful sunny weather, but it eventually turned to rain, then wind, then wind and snow. Snow never seems to stick on Kvitsøy, the way it hangs out in the sea. As we headed home and left from the ferry landing, the snow became thicker and thicker. I had a flashback to the man changing to his winter tires in the parking lot down at Statoil earlier in the day. This guy must have watched the forecast. My worst fear was that we would not make it up the hill by our house.

As we drove home, we managed the main street hill with relative ease. My concern was taking the sharp narrow corner, where inevitably would be almost impassible on a good day with the neighbors who park illegally on the street. The grade was too much, having lost speed to make the corner, and the rear-wheel drive German technology with an anti-slip rear was just no match for the conditions. I was stuck in less than 2cm of snow. I backed down the hill to the street, and tried my luck further up the hill to the second entrance to our street. Technically it was not a through street from the other end, but these were not normal circumstances. Again, after turning it, I could not make it up the hill.

I let Lise and Julian off to walk to our house, and found a spot on the street to park-- legally. I am at the point where I am ready to change the wheels myself- since the tires are already mounted. I only wish I had a proper floor jack. Of course, this means that tomorrow, traffic will be a nightmare if I chose to drive. Tomorrow will be the inaugural voyage on the Nokians. I cannot bear the thought of taking the bus.

More Wind

This is actual miles per hour, not kph. I had hopes of getting out for a ride today, but might reconsider.

Filtersweep.com

I finally got around to it. I have been sitting on a goldmine for years: the filtersweep.com domain name. Rather than selling out and letting it go for six or seven figures- as surely it would fetch on the open market, I am using it for far less nefarious purposes. We'll just have to see what google metrics thinks of all this madness.

Freezing Today

It finally dipped below zero. There was a thick layer of slippery frost over the street and sidewalk. I was lazy and drove to work.

Lost My Mind

The last two days I have resumed biking to work. It was a nice tough to be on new wheels and fresh rubber. I was worried that I was spoiled from driving the first few weeks of January, but I quickly readjusted. The past two days, the weather has been very close to freezing, and rainy all day. For some reason, it doesn't bother me in the least. I purchased a Helly Hansen base layer with a gift card from work. It really is no warmer than any of the other base layers, but it is new-- like the wheels and tires. New is better? I haven't been cold at all. Actually, I overheat from my cheap (non-breathable) rain gear. I am beginning to wonder if we will ever see snow here.

Tonight there was hail and high winds during a stretch of the commute home. I felt like my nose was going to be ripped off my face as the sharp ice blasted away at it. I started taking a new route to and from work-- almost entirely off-road and off-pavement. Granted I have to ride through a dark forest and across a muddy pasture, but it is far more interesting than taking the back road by the potato fields.

I guess I am surprised how well I have adjusted to the weather.

Video Star

I won't sink to the depths of doting new parenthood by posting videos on the web of Julian sleeping, but it is pretty cool being able to share him on video with my parents back in the US. Communication is extremely easy these days. I still cannot believe how cheap and easy it is to have a US 800-number in our home. I remember as a child what a huge deal it was when someone called long distance-- and international calls were almost unheard of. Sound quality was terrible- people literally sounded far away. With the internet, I have virtually free video calls to anywhere in the world. Still, it is not the same as being there.

I have an idea that I will end up having much more insight into my own parents. It is strange to imagine that my parents looked at me the way we look at Julian. I believe it will make me a better son, somehow. It is ridiculously humbling to imagine starting out life that way, and yet we all did.

Four Weeks

Yesterday Julian turned four weeks old. Four weeks! Funny how time is relative- the last four weeks of Lise's pregnancy were possibly the slowest four weeks of my life. Actually, that is less a reflection on her, and more about how much we looked forward to meeting him.

Things I have learned in the last four weeks
Newborn poo doesn't stink. It smells more like bread. Of course, as Lise pointed out, he really poops what she actually eats. Apparently, he is entering a period where he will only poo once per week. I have yet to see it. The thing is, I would be crying non-stop if I only went once weekly.

Made in France
His diapers are made in France-- just like my bike tires. Yesterday we purchased what I joking refer to as a "diaper machine." No- it doesn't change him automatically, but it individually wraps each dirty diaper so the bathroom doesn't stink. Well, maybe not stink, exactly--- but I never claimed it was odorless.

Adult Faces
Lise and I have both observed this phenomenon: after looking at Julian all day, our own faces appear to be huge. Lise's nose, eyes, lips-- even her head, suddenly appear to be disproportionately large. Again, the theory of relativity at work.

Random Thoughts

My brother has a blog. This was quite an accidental discovery. I would link to it, but unfortunately, it is quite dead. This is my petition to revive it. He is quite dry and witty, and has had a series of jobs that gives him a unique insight into human behavior. He is now starting a new federal job, so it could be a sensitive issue to share too much of his "insights." I am sure he is also going to be ridiculously busy getting settled in.

I also discovered a blog by a former coworker from the US. She is Swedish, and her husband from the US. They relocated to Sweden about a year ago. It is interesting reading about similar experiences in adjusting to living in another country.

Mild Winter

It turns out that little bit of wind we had was from a major storm. Somehow, it was classified as a hurricane, and even had its own name, "Per." It disrupted trains when trees fell on their power lines-- they are electric around here.


I received new wheels for Christmas so I could run studded tires on the "old" wheelset. They are a little flashy, but the price was right. Originally I planned to buy a wheelset that I could destroy in the salt and slush--- if it ever arrives. But then I thought it made more sense to use the stock wheels for the nasty stuff. These were 2006 Mavics that were drastically reduced- something I seldom see in local bike shops.
I had to purchase an extra set of disc rotors. I found a great deal from a mail order shop out of the UK. It was such a good deal that I ordered an extra cassette as well. When the order arrived, I owed something like 200nok in VAT! I am quite sure I was even paying tax on the postage, since it ended up being about a third of the total price. It was COD for the tax at the post office- so I had no choice. Suddenly this was not such a great deal. After lamenting about this at work, my coworkers explained that I should have placed a series of separate orders to remain under the tax threshold. I threw some new tires on as well- the old ones were a mess, and I practically ruined the rear with that flat on my last commute.
These are the ultimate studded tires (below): Nokian Extreme 296-- featuring, uh, 296 carbide studs. Of course there is no point using them on dry pavement. I haven't seen any snow or ice yet this year. We actually have a crocus poppin up in our flower bed by the front door. It almost smelled like spring when we took a walk with Julian today.

Inspiration: I didn't race much last year, and I don't feel like I am in very good shape these days (in the dead of winter), so I redecorated the worksop for a bit of inspiration.

A Little Wind

I think I figured out why everyone has tile roofs around here.

Passport Woes

I need to renew my passport. My first challenge is finding an open window when I don't need it. I will be returning to the US sometime in March for work, and might need to go for a few days before then. I am doing everything I can to avoid traveling right now. I should renew the passport before I renew my visas. Of course, as soon as I renew it, I will also need a new visa to India, and that was a fiasco that last time.

The US embassy here is very strange. If I travel to Oslo, I can pay in kroner. If I mail it in, I must pay in cash--- in US currency. Either way, could they make it more inconvenient? I have a little US cash lying around.

Busy

I have thought about making a few new entries, but things have been very busy, as you may imagine. Unfortunately, work has been busier than I would have liked. I have had to develop a training curriculum for our India office while following -up our US trip. I felt guilty returning to work. Julian is too cool, and it seems wrong to spend time away from him. On the other hand, we still need to put food on the table. I have tried doing a little work from home, but he is too much of a distraction-- not that he requires so much attention, but rather because I could just look at him all day, even if he is only sleeping.

I am amazed by how quickly we have adjusted. It seems like we have always had him, that he has always been a part of our lives--- when in fact he is coming up on four weeks old. Even that is a strange concept. I can't believe it is four weeks already-- it seems he was just born. Already his smallest clothes are becoming a little too tight.

I fear that I will start sounding like a blithering new parent. Everything we are going through is what every new parent experiences. But like the pregnancy, and birth, everything carries more significance when it involves us personally. It has also heightened my sensitivity to these issues in others. For example, a coworker is expecting in June, and I remembered the exact due date. Normally, with my Y-chromosome, I couldn't even remember the gender of a coworker's baby after the birth, and you can forget about me having any clue as to the weight or any other details.

I drove to work all week. The weather has been terrible here, but still, no snow. Yesterday it was warmer here than in Venice or Mallorca-- althought the rain was "falling" horizontally. Next week I should start biking. I have the Nokian Extremes ready to roll, but with global warming, or whatever it is, I probably won't need them this year.

We are borrowing a digital camera. Our Canon has the dreaded E18 error. I had never heard of it until doing a google search. Apparently, Canon should name this model the E18. The lens is stuck open, and it is useless. Completely annoying.

Lucky Kid

Not only did Julian luck out by getting great parents like us, but we just received a phone call that he won half of a smoked salmon in some sort of raffle. We didn't even know he was entered.

Julian Nissen

Julian in his grandfather's arms, Christmas eve, in one of his few outfits small enough to fit.

I started a few entries that never quite made it to publication. I started writing a lengthy account of the night of Julian's birth. I soon realized that words could do it no justice, and that it was simply too personal to share. It was one of those 'you really had to be there' moments-- yet it was only meant for the three of us, with a midwife and nurse. It was truly a private moment-- a beautiful moment-- but there is nothing clever or witty to say. The moment spoke for itself. It needed no narration or caption. Julian entered this world. I watched him take his very first breath as he lay on a mat on the floor, beneath a birthing chair. I watched in amazement as I realized I was meeting my son for the first time, how something in my world had forever changed. Julian was now part of our world, never able to return to his comfort inside his mother. For all the hostility and cruelty in the world, it is still an overwhelmingly beautiful place. Powerful forces were at work in the birthing room that night. I quickly forgot my feelings of guilt at the pain and discomfort that Lise experienced. More than anything, I was immeasurably thankful that Lise and Julian were fine. I still am.

We are a week into our new family, and a few observations come to mind. Newborns mostly sleep and eat. There is little involved with "diaper duty," since newborn poo is mysteriously odor free. Julian is starting to grow eyelashes, and he is already much better at controlling his eye movement. When he makes eye contact, it is very intense. While other infants' crying borders on annoying, our son's tear-free cries are music to our ears. His skin color is much better, and he is starting to fill out. He literally becomes cuter by the minute.

I haven't even begun my paternity leave-- this is Christmas vacation. I don't know when I will return to work. My boss stopped by to give Julian a gift on Saturday, and reassured me not to think of work during this time. It is wonderful to be able to take this much time to bond with Julian. It is incredible how much I can love someone who I just met. It will be difficult to rearrange my priorities to include such frivolous activities as work, or even watching TV. But at some point, I will need to integrate my work life with our family life. We still need to put food on the table. Right now I can do little more than look at him-- even though he doesn't do much. I don't see how I will possibly be able to work from home!

It's Almost Christmas

I cannot stand Chevy Chase, but no Christmas is complete without National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, followed by It's a Wonderful Life on Swedish Television.

En tidel velger fødeloftet

Interesting timing in today's paper: an article about the birthing loft that we used. The title translates to "One Tenth Choose the Birthing Loft." Again, we have nothing but excellent feedback about our experience. On the front page of the paper, some adventurous couple had their photo taken with their just-born child. More information about that couple is in another article. I cannot imagine having a photographer present for the moment. Photos appear to be from the same room Julian was born.


En tidel velger fødeloftet

- Alle vet at en fødsel gjør vondt. Men de som velger Fødeloftet, er ofte motivert til å takle smertene, og de stoler på at kroppen er skapt for å føde, sier jordmor Grethe Teigen.

Marie Rein Bore

- Jeg har hatt greie fødsler før, men måtte ha en del hjelp med nummer en og to. Denne gangen var jeg bestemt på å ikke ha bedøvelse. Du blir så mye friskere etterpå uten bedøvelse.

- Jeg har hatt greie fødsler før, men måtte ha en del hjelp med nummer en og to. Denne gangen var jeg bestemt på å ikke ha bedøvelse. Du blir så mye friskere etterpå uten bedøvelse. Foto: Jon Ingemundsen
Førstegangsfødende

Gjennsomsnittalderen for førstegangsfødende var i fjor 28,1 år. På slutten av 80-tallet var mødrene i snitt 25,2 år da de fikk barn for første gang. (Kilde: SSB)

Grethe Teigen var jordmor da Lasse kom til verden sist fredag kveld.

Les historien om fødselen

Sissel og Trond Vollevik fra Sola hadde på forhånd valgt fødsel på Fødeloftet, en egen del av fødeavdelingen ved Stavanger Universitetssjukehus, spesielt beregnet for dem som vil ha en såkalt naturlig fødsel.

- Hva mener dere med naturlig fødsel?

- At fødselen går normalt uten for stor inngripen. Vi gir ikke medikamentell smertelindring, men bruker akupunktur, varmt vann/ badekar og tilstedeværelse som vår form for smertelindring, sier Teigen.

Men hun understreker at hvis fødselen skulle stanse opp og ikke komme videre, kan den fødende flyttes over til fødeavdelingen der de har tekniske hjelpemidler til å få fødselen i mål.

Dessuten kan ikke fødende som har hatt kompliserte svangerskap, eller har annen risiko knyttet til fødselen, få føde på Fødeloftet.

Ønsker flere:
Fødeloftet er et relativt nytt tilbud ved SUS. I år vil det bli noe over 400 fødsler der, rundt en tidel av alle fødsler ved SUS. Jordmødrene på Fødeloftet ønsker at flere skal bruke dette alternativet. Tilbudet er for lite kjent, sier Grethe Teigen.

- Hva skiller Fødeloftet fra en vanlig fødeavdeling?

- Dette er en mindre avdeling, personalet har det ikke så travelt, vi slipper å springe fra den ene fødende til den andre, men kan være hos hele tiden hvis det er ønsket. Dessuten har føderommene vanlige senger, det er mer som et soverom og ikke et teknisk sykehusrom, sier Grethe Teigen.

Mange førstegangsfødende velger Fødeloftet:

Mye psykologi
- Vi håper de får en god opplevelse som de tar med seg videre. Mange er motivert for en slik naturlig fødsel, motivert til å stole på at egen kropp kan greie dette. En fødsel er mye psykologi. Selv om rier kan være intense, er det tross alt flere pauser enn rier, det er mulighet til å slappe av. De aller fleste fødsler går greit.

Det er svært sjelden vi må flytte den fødende for å få mer teknisk hjelp. Den aller viktigste overflyttingsgrunnen er at fødselen stopper opp. Da flytter vi den fødende over på fødeavdelingen, og fortsetter der. Vi prøver også å bli med videre på fødeavdelingen, slik at de fødende skal slippe å skifte jordmor. Etter at de har født, tar vi dem med opp på Fødeloftet igjen, så får de barseltiden der likevel, sier Grethe Teigen.

Baby Filtersweep

OK, not the greatest photo, but certainly the greatest Christmas gift we have ever received. Julian arrived 5:15am Monday morning in perfect condition- all 3010 grams and 48 cms of him. Lise is in great shape, and we are finally home from the hospital. Lise bravely chose a natural birth, which meant we could share a family room. The midwives and staff there were top-notch. Julian is already an amazing little guy! Fortunately, he takes after his mother. His birth caught us a little off guard-- he arrived 10 days early. I won't return to work until sometime next year-- and even then, will probably work part time or from home as much as possible. This might turn into a parenting blog-- so be warned.

Interesting Commute

What you are seeing is the inside of a mountain bike tire with a 2cm stone sticking through it. I had a relatively dry ride into work this morning, and heard a strange noise as I was crossing the E39 overpass. It was the sound of air hissing out the rear tire. I had a predawn tube change-- of course predawn means anything before 9 or 9:30 these days. I was worried that I would not be able to find the source of the flat in the darkness, but there was no mistaking it. I cursed my Crank Brothers mini-pump--- the one that only takes 400 strokes to get a tire up to 40psi. I may be exaggerating slightly.

After work I saw a very rare sight: dry pavement. I think it has been about two months since I have seen anything so beautiful. Just to clarify, they were only patches of dryness. It is still mostly wet outside.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off. I have been working too much lately. We still have much preparation to do before Christmas and the baby arrives.

Sunshine

We caught a few minutes of sunshine today between bursts of rain and sleet. I went to the gym to do some cardio while watching people doing real cardio-- a biathlon was on TV. Usually I go after work and end up watching Scrubs, That 70s Show, or the Sami news-- all of which are texted. The first two are in English, of course, and the Sami news is in some strange Sami language that looks like Finnish, so it is texted as well. Watching their news, I always feel like I am living on the edge of the planet. They live on a region in the far north that consists of parts of Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Russia. On the surface they resemble the Inuit in many ways. If ever I feel life is foreign here, I only need to watch the Sami news. Going back to the gym, since the biathlon was in Norwegian, it wasn't texted, so I used the headphone jack on the trainer to listen. I was surprised how much I was able to understand. Usually TV commentators are so excitable and speak so fast that they are impossible to understand. In this case, the Norwegian was so far ahead that the race was over well before the finish line. Next was curling between Norway and Sweden. Curling is about as exciting as golf to watch, but it makes for good language practice. Besides, the commentators are not particularly excitable in curling.

After the gym I made the mistake of going to Kvadrat-- a large mall near home. I had planned to do some Christmas shopping, but it was insanely crowded. I just purchased groceries, which was enough of an ordeal, and stopped by Bike Brothers to price a new set of mountain bike wheels. I need a new set of wheels for the studded tires for when the weather turns nasty. I want exceptionally cheap wheels, since I anticipate that I will destroy them riding in salty snow and ice. The cheapest they had were about 3000nok--- and I could easily build a set for less money. I will keep shopping around.

When I returned home, Lise was in the middle of her diabolical scheme of making candies to give as gifts. I would have preferred to eat all of them immediately. If it were me, I would continuously make mistakes that I would have to eat myself.

6h 26m 11s

The days are getting shorter. The shortest day is only 15 minutes shorter than today. The real issue is that it has rained daily for as long as I can remember, and I don't think that I have seen the sun since I was in California. It really isn't that bad- certainly not as bad as last year when I was unemployed at this time. So what that it has rained. It hasn't stopped me from biking-- although laziness has. Short days makes the evenings seem to last forever.

My wife's octogenarian grandfather brought over a cradle that he made. It is a very cool gift for our impending newborn. We still need to sort out some water damage to the downstairs bedroom caused by a leaky window. We are going after our buyers insurance on that one-- that is another story. We are as ready as we will ever be, after we pack a bag for the hospital.

Sanity in Policy

OK, the head of the learning center called me back today. I have him my visa number (work and residency-- not my bank card) and he looked me up. Actually, he had to call me back to get my ID# and to confirm my visa number. It turned out he could find me nowhere in the system to indicate that I was required to take language classes. I am also not required to take civics classes either. He said it was because I was married to a Norwegian. All of this is very perplexing, since I know two other Americans who reported taking classes. I am not complaining, but I will confirm this next time I renew my visa.

On a Different Note

I can't wait for our baby to arrive. We registered at the birthing room at the hospital the other day. They have a wall hanging that is a giant calendar for the year with pink and blue pins for all the babies that were born, with a large sign that says "Welcome to the World." I don't know why that is such a cool visual, but it is. It really is about the arrival in this world. He is pretty much ready to go. I can usually hear his heartbeat by placing my ear at the right spot on Lise's belly. He is getting quite crowded in there. All we can do now is wait. Officially his due date is the 29th, but he could easily arrive next year. If he arrives after the first, it changes when he starts school. In a way, I hope he is a little late. Lise and I were both some of the youngest in our respective classes. Then again, we seemed to turn out just fine.

Norwegian Rednecks

OK, maybe that is not a fair characterization, but I am annoyed by how the conservative party's anti-immigration policies are affecting me personally. I am legally required by law to take 120 hours of Norwegian language classes. I dutifully applied to take classes a year ago. I have a three year window to complete this requirement. At the time I was told there were no advanced evening classes, and that beginner classes would be a waste of time for me. In other words, there are no classes available, and already a year is burned up.

During the past year, I left messages at the school, but received no reply. The other day I finally sent a letter, including documentation of 126 hours of classes I had taken in Minneapolis. I finally received a call from the man in charge of the school. He apologized for not getting back to me earlier, and said that nothing had changed. They had no qualified teachers to teach advanced classes, and no evening courses available.

This situation is absurd. I believe that I am rather well integrated. I do not live in an English-speaking cloister. I have no friends from the UK or US that I hang out with. I am very gainfully employed. I travel much for work, making classes somewhat inconvenient. With a baby due any day, it will be downright difficult to spend four extra hours per week outside the home. I gave the man my bottom line: I was only interested in meeting my legal obligation. He offered that I could take an oral and written test to meet this requirement. I will have to give it a try. It still doesn't change the principle at hand. Even the US draconian immigration policies are not this strict. I am not even part of the target demographic group-- I am married to a Norwegian. If you ask me, I am doing just fine. But that doesn't mean my Norwegian spelling and grammar are any good.

Blue Eyes?

We are less than a month away from the due date, assuming he isn't running late. Our impending parenthood has made me curious about my genetic background. Since I am adopted, I don't have full access to my ancestry, and even the simple things like my relatives' eye and hair color are clouded in mystery. I have met my birth mother on two occasions, and met a few of my half-siblings, but I have never met any grandparents. My birth mother has been rather evasive about discussing the paternal side of my history, and I haven't pushed things, so I really only have half the story.

The other night I phoned my birth mother to ask her some questions about her background. Her grand-parentage was 3/4ths of Italian ancestry. Her maternal grandfather immigrated from Italy to Chicago as a young man. Everyone had wild last names ending in vowels. She herself has very dark features, so I found it very surprising that my maternal grandfather had blond hair and blue eyes. On my wife's side, Lise's family probably has over a thousand years of blue-eyed genes in their bloodline. Oddly, this will put our son's odds of having blue eyes and no worse than a one out of four chance. That takes into account no possibility of there being any blue eyes on the paternal side of my genetics. If either of my genetic father's parents had blue eyes, the odds double to a 50% possibility of our son having blue eyes. I would have never imagined it was even possible that I could end up with a blue eyed child. Of course, it will take months to find out what his permanent eye color is.

Casino Royale

We saw Casino Royale last night-- and I can see why this is such a divisive movie for Bond fans. In my opinion, it was the best Bond in the last 30 years. It was probably the most realistic Bond film ever. Of course, some fans prefer to see the "sharks with laser beams" style of Bond movies, but to me, films like Die Another Day had sunk to be mere parodies of the Bond franchise. It far exceeded my expectations.

Excellence in Packaging Design

As part of my job dealing with high level marketing, I have developed a heightened, yet amateurish awareness of packaging and product design. It all started as I stared at a box of Ritz crackers.
Ritz's design is timeless in its two dimensional minimalism. Observe the hyper-real photographic rendering of the crackers. The stark yellow on black lettering of the inner circle has been stylistically superimposed over the crackers on the bottom half , while the crackers on the top half appear to be cut out above it. This inconsistency is an enigma whose significance keeps my awake at night. The red box screams for attention.

Heinz uses a translucent bottle to produce its red backdrop. Its cleverly shaped white label with a green and gold border to symbolize health and wealth obscure the fact that this delightful condiment contains mostly sugar and salt.

Kraft's Calumet baking powder mixes heavy duty industrial design with the profile of a Native American chief wearing full headdress. To my knowledge, the Native American macrobiotic diet required little use of baking soda. Again, this product uses the color red. I have not determined what is so special about the so-named "EASY-MEASURE LID!" that makes it worthy of an exclamation point.
Lawry's maintains our theme of red product design. Its highly stylized "L" is the focal point of this otherwise informational label, which effectively communicates that this product contains no MSG and is "original."

McCormick uses more fonts than a ransom note in its classic and timeless red and white packaging that communicates with a retro and feel-good wholesomeness: we are not adulterated by trends or fads.

Mr Lee ramen noodles proves that using a 70s font and shallow Asian stereotyping need not adversely affect a packaging project.

Biking

I took Monday off to recover from my travels. Tuesday and Wednesday I rode to work in nasty weather. After work I rode to the gym to work out for an hour and a half, then rode home. It is typical November weather here--- rain and wind. Today I drove. I was exhausted, and needed to return our display to the office. It was a quite day-- Thanksgiving in the US. You'd never notice around here.

Blogger Beta

Google will eventually force us to switch to their new blog interface. That isn't such a bad deal, except it forces us to use a gmail account to log-in. I am no fan of gmail. But then again, this is a free service, so I guess I can't complain too loudly. Here is my first post after making the switch...

CA Photos

Back In Norway

I am awake with jet lag-- reflecting on a great trip. Without going into too much detail, we had a good work trip that bounced back and forth between San Diego, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. While we flew to SF last Sunday, I ended up doing all of the local driving-- it didn't make sense to take a taxi to Silicon Valley. Our days were packed with work meetings, and the travel flowed quite smoothly courtesy of our talking GPS. We rented a Corolla in SF, which was nice for the tighter urban driving downtown. Tuesday we flew back to San Diego on Southwest, then drove to Los Angeles at night to stay in Hollywood-- which is truly the armpit of America. I had no clue there were so many homeless people (or adult bookstores.... or tattoo parlors). Most of our Wednesday meetings were down in Ocean County. Thursday evening we drove back to San Diego and stayed back at the same hotel. All in all it was a great trip. I have eaten my fill of sushi. I know the CEO much better (it was just the two of us) and we managed to get along very well-- especially for spending so much travel time together. I am working out spending two months working in the US next year.

I have always loved California, so it isn't an entirely fair comparison to Norway. CA has mountains, dry weather, and we had record November heat (in the 90s). I left with some regret for having lived in the midwest for as long as I did. Then again, this move to Norway has proven that we can live anywhere and do anything. But the reality remains-- we can only really live in one place at a time. If we lived in CA, there would be some other place that I would fall in love with... or perhaps "passing infatuation" would be a better term. While I loved eating sushi and drinking cheap beer nightly, LA had nasty air pollution, and it takes at least a hour to drive anywhere. I can't imagine biking in LA. SF would take at least an hour to bike out of the city, and the weather isn't much better than in Norway. San Diego is a great place to get away, but I wonder what it would be like to live there.

All in all, the US is a country of tremendous opportunity. As passe as I thought I would find it (from a "been there done that" attitude--- where I found the UK and the Netherlands far more interesting for business prospects), I believe my job is perfect for me. I still need to be connected to the US. That doesn't mean that I want to move back. I just like the best of both worlds. I have always been the sort who wants everything both ways.

On a lighter note, despite my liberal and tolerant leanings, I can't help but be mindful of fellow passengers on planes. I had my aisle seat on a KLM 747 from LAX to Amsterdam. Two young bearded Muslim-looking guys sat down in the seats next to me. Both had their heads covered in caps. They seemed a little strange. As we took off, I noticed they were holding hands. I found it strange, but I had seen similar things in India. As the flight progressed, it became clear that these two were more than just friends. If their kissing didn't give it away, they left nothing to interpretation when they entered the lavatory together. I could not have more seriously been wrong about my initial impressions of them.

I slept most of the flight. After The Devil Wears Prada was over, the next thing I knew we were served breakfast and landed an hour later. It was the best transatlantic flight I have ever had. It seemed to last three hours in total. If only I could sleep now.

I Love Southern CA

I spent the day driving all over Ocean County and San Diego County for meetings today. I love this place. I have always loved this place. San Diego was my first experience with "palm trees," and it left an enduring impression. In hindsight, I have no idea why I ever returned to Minneapolis after my first trip to SD back in the early 90s--- when in fact I had absolutely nothing to lose by relocating. Of course, I have a true masochistic streak when it comes to climate, and post-college have move continually north, rather than south.

But then again, this is California, which is nothing remotely related to "reality." I cannot imagine living here. Despite the climate, this seems like a cruel environment to ride bikes.

San Diego

I am in San Diego-- have been here a few days. I mysteriously lost an earlier blog entry regarding the trip. The first time I was here I stayed in a dirt-cheap hostel. Now I am at the Hotel del Coronado--- an amazing resort hotel on Coronado island. The first time I was here was the first time I was on a plane. How times have changed. I can't even count how many flights I have taken. The temperature has been in the 80s all week. It is beautiful here.

I watched a few movies on the flight here and in my jet-lagged middle of the night insomnia. Here are my mini-reviews:

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
I was disappointed. Jack Sparrow is an excellent character, as are Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan... in an excellent "Disney character" sort of way. The trouble is that the special effects played a too prominent role. The "scary characters" bordered on the absurd, and possessed unpredictable physics. Also problematic was Swan kissing Sparrow. I am quite convinced Sparrow plays for the other team. Next time, more Sparrow--- and less dead creatures.


Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I generally do not like Will Ferrell, but paired with the most excellent John C. Reilly and, well, it was as close to magic as Ferrell will ever see on screen. Actually, Ferrell is more entertaining and less offensive than he has ever been. NASCAR is such an easy target that I can forgive him for almost anything... except the French-bashing that is somehow pulled off without being completely idiotic. Definitely not a must-see.


You, Me and Dupree
Is it just me, or is Matt Dillon starting to wear a little with age? And can Owen Wilson only play one character? Kate Hudson was almost adorable in this movie, but Michael Douglas was merely phoning it in. Michael Douglas? Either his agent should be shot, or he is donating his salary to charity. Not the worst movie ever, but it seemed to be rather misdirected. As far as it tried to go, it should have gone all the way and descended in complete farcedom.


My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Something about in-seat on-demand video compelled me to watch this Uma Thurman/Luke Wilson "effort." Rainn Wilson must be completely typecast as a dork/loser by this point after almost reprising his Arther/Six Feet Under role. Anna Faris from Brokeback Mountain was the high point of this movie-- for whatever that is worth. I will briefly embed a Brokeback Mountain review, since we recently rented that movie. Actually, Lise and I each picked a movie-- I wanted to watch Donnie Darko, but they didn't have it, so I picked Jarhead. Lise picked the only movie I hoped she didn't rent: Brokeback Mountain. Actually, Brokeback was a very well acted movie-- but not at all what I expected. Knowing it was a "gay cowbow movie" I fully expected that it was set in the 1800s. But I guess I am just like that. Jake's other movie was a bit of a mess-- although it is to be expected for a "war movie" for a war that only lasted four days.


Lords of Dogtown
I spend half the movie trying to figure out if that was Heath Ledger. After I decided that it was, I was wondering what the hell he was doing in this disaster. Dogtown and Z-boys is FAR superior-- and the real deal. Why watch a "movie" when the documentary has far better skate action and character development? Skip it. They could have just as well animated this wreck.


Buffalo '66
I don't know if it was insomnia that kept me up watching this movie, or if this movie kept my up on the basis of its own merit. I had seen this movie in video stores, having no clue what it was about. I watched it simply because it was on at 3am on HBO. I was floored at how excellent his Vincent Gallo/Christina Ricca vehicle is. Simply amazing. Ben Gazzara and Anjelica Huston are priceless as Vincent's parents. I have never seen family dysfunction magnified to this extreme without dripping into absurdity. I have never felt such sympathy for such a loser character. Christina Ricci was practically a child when this movie was made, but truly steals the show, which is no easy feat when paired with Gallo.

The Dukes of Hazzard
I was reaching psychosis by the time this movie came on. It is truly sad that this film was ever made. At least the Charlie's Angels films clearly showed that the filmmakers were in on the joke. DOH took itself far too seriously as being a feature film based on the TV show--- without a hint of irony. Imagine an earnest Weird Al imitator. It just isn't right.

Donnie Darko
For $9.99 I purchased this at Best Buy--- almost cheaper than I can rent it in Norway. This is my new favorite movie, even though I have only seen part of it. It also completes the Jake trifecta.