Prins Sverre Magnus

A new Norwegian prince was just born and named. I needed to wait a few days until I could calm down enough to write about it- such was my excitement level. Actually, I do not understand royalty at all. The very concept is un-American. In a country like Norway, where there is less of a divide between blue and white collar workers, where there is a prevailing attitude that nobody is better than anyone else, it makes even less sense to have a royal family. Even stranger is the fact that Norway lost their royal bloodlines after being ruled by Denmark and Sweden, so they basically "adopted" a royal Danish family.

To add to the controversy, King Olav (where the new royal blood line resumed) may not actually be the son of the Danish Prince Carl, who was thought to be either gay or sterile following a sexually transmitted disease that he picked up during a particularly debauched stint in the navy. Regardless, Olav is believed to have been conceived using artificial insemination- and is possibly the biological son of Princess Maud's British doctor, who I assume wielded the turkey baster. Prince Carl, of course, became King Haakon VII, when the country emerged as a sovereign nation in 1905.

Regardless of this well publicized controversy, Norwegians overwhelmingly support having a royal family. Many, if not most, obsess over it. The media fawns over them. If you do not live in Norway, you may not have heard that Sverre Magnus was born over the weekend. This is huge news. Nothing else matters in times like these. I believe he is third in line for the throne after his father, Crown Prince Haakon and big sister Ingrid Alexandra, who will be two years old in January. As of 1991, the oldest child took the throne, regardless of gender. Between 1971 and 1990, they used a system of agnatic-cognatic primogeniture for succession. You need to be European to grasp that concept without looking it up, I guess.

Fit for a king? Royal blood? I don't like it. But I don't like first class seating on planes. I don't like country club memberships. I don't even like Sam's Club memberships. Actually, I almost feel sorry for the royal family. They live in a fish bowl and occupy a superficial, almost decorative role in this society. They are a dying breed.