Why We Moved

Today is New Year's Eve, which prompted me to think about all that has happened over the past year. About this time last year, we made the difficult announcement to my parents that we were moving to Norway. They somehow expected it and were not surprised. Of course a year ago, the entire idea of moving to a different continent was very abstract. Someone recently raised the question why we relocated. Actually, I had seen the person who asked the question biking around the Twin Cities, but never had the opportunity to formally meet him. The reasons we moved are both simple and complicated. In many respects, it is a difficult question to answer, considering the people we have left behind in the US.

First of all, not just anyone can move to Norway, or any other country in Europe. The US has rather unfriendly immigration policies, which are reciprocal in nature. For the sake of simplicity, while Norway is not a part of the EU, there are enough treaties in place that it practically is an EU nation, with the exception that they use their own currency and they haven't butchered the constitution. Citizens of EU countries can easily move from one EU nation to another. Citizens of the EU cannot relocate to the US, nor can Americans relocate to the EU. There are obvious exceptions, such as being sponsored to work in the US with an H1B visa, or moving on a student visa.

My wife Lise actually moved to the US on a student visa. She is a Norwegian citizen. It drives her crazy when people in the US would ask her where she was from and she would say Norway. They often replied, Oh, I'm Norwegian, too. She is the real deal- has a Norwegian passport. If you met her, you would never know, aside from her blond hair and blue eyes- she has no detectable accent.

I will skip over all the good stuff, but we met, dated, and were married. After we married, she received a Green Card (making her a resident alien). It cost close to $2000 if I recall, and was a rather complicated process, but we were able to do it ourselves without a lawyer. The US government makes every step unnecessarily complicated. For example, a simple travel permit is called "advance parole."

We had great jobs, a nice house in a great neighborhood, and life was perfect. I really love the Twin Cities- especially biking and summer weather. I really wasn't jumping up and down at the prospect of giving everything up for the great unknown. When people ask why we moved, I usually say that Lise just wore me down. That is not true, of course, or I would probably be miserable here.

I really have no connection to Norway other than Lise. I don't really have any Norwegian heritage, which is ironic coming from Minnesota. Before moving, we probably made it back to Norway five times in the first three years. We didn't plan another trip once we determined that we were moving. I "liked" it here- not exactly "loved" it. I hate winters and would prefer to move further south, but winters are milder than in Minnesota.

So why did we actually move? I had worked for the same company for almost fifteen years. I really loved my job. The only real issue we encountered was the erosion of our health care benefits- and the cost would be very expensive for family coverage. It had less to do with the specific company and everything to do with the general health care climate in the US. This would not be an issue in Norway. Maternity and education benefits are also much better in Norway. I am almost embarrassed to describe them. Children are like god here. There is probably no nation that treats children better than Norway. That is probably the extent to which politics entered my decision. Families certainly find a way to get by in the US- but in Norway, it does seem to be less of a struggle for the middle class.

Those are all just practical reasons, but in making the mental analysis of costs/benefits, they cannot be ignored. On an emotional level, all of Lise's family lives around here. She grew up on an island, and her entire extended family lived within maybe a six block radius. It was unlike anything I had ever seen or experienced. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents all played a much more active role in everyday life. I understood Lise's home sickness she would experience after each trip to Norway.

From my perspective, I was trying to be "fair." We lived comfortably in the US, now it was her turn to live in Norway, and it wouldn't be any easier if we waited. We had very few financial obligations. Of course in the midst of all this, a part of me was angry at the very idea that I had married into this situation. I really didn't think she would truly be "happy" living in the US for the rest of her life. The prospect of her wanting to move was always in the background serving up low level stress during our early years together- not that she would move without me. My main concern about moving was always finding work. I was very concerned about being able to have a professional job with a limited understanding of Norwegian. Lise can probably attest to what a reluctant wreck I was.

Eventually I sorted it all out in my head. A move like this certainly appealed to my sense of adventure that had somehow been exchanged for leading a rather safe and secure existence. I really wasn't thrilled about the bike racing scene here, but I wasn't about to make that issue the determining factor. Eventually it boiled down to the idea that I wasn't planning on retiring from the job I had- that I would have to make a career change at some point. And it would have to be a career change. I could not work in health care administration in Norway- at least not until I was professionally proficient in the language. I also realized that I would forever regret not jumping on this opportunity. I figured I would have a complete mid-life meltdown full of regret if I didn't give it a try.

To sum it up, we moved because my wife is a Norwegian citizen and she wanted to move. She is also probably the only person in the world who could talk me into doing anything this crazy.

But there is also another side to all this. Deep down, I knew all along this would happen. We knew each other for more than a year before we started dating. From when I first met her, I knew she was the one. But I also knew this wasn't going to be some short-term relationship. Even back then I knew this was an all or nothing situation- if we even dated, we would end up getting married and move to Norway. I just needed to spend a few years resisting and mentally preparing.