Friday, April 14, 2006

The Miracle of the Tube

I was recently asked about the status of my foot, and my problem resurfaced two days ago. My theory is that it is from the dungeon that I change in at work. I might need to reevaluate my accommodations. We have a shower room, but no real locker room. The lockers are located beyond a secure area that requires a key card and password- in a hallway leading to storage rooms for the offices. I have advance warning that someone is coming when I hear the keypad beeping on the other side of the door. While most of us guys use the hallway as the locker room, we have a few female coworkers who also use the locker, so we try to be at least somewhat discreet when changing. If I think someone is coming, I'll change "race style." Anyway, the floor is a musty basement floor, and my problem's origin corresponds with when I started changing there- hence my theory.

I am still using a miracle tube of clotrimazole that I have from the US. It has been "empty" for weeks, yet it always seems to yield enough cream to do the job. Someday far off in the future, there will be a religious holiday centered around this phenomenon. Families will be seated around a feast, and before they begin eating, the patriarch will recite the story of the miracle tube of Lotramin, and how it lasted for months as some poor guy was beseiged by fungus. They will sing a few songs, light a few candles, and begin eating and sharing gifts. I will have been long forgotten, but countless people will make bicycle pilgrimages of thousands of kilometers just to view the enshrined Lotramin tube that is said to have miraculous healing and rejuvenating powers.

It is certainly less far-fetched than Scientology.

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